The Bear Bitch’s Project

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The Bear Bitch’s Project

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Bear

When Ninang asked us to write down our memories and anecdotes of Papa for the book they’re writing about him, I was anxious and a little sad; I don’t have that many memories of Papa.
I was born 10 years after my youngest cousin so I never experienced the fun Baguio summers and exciting trips to Hong Kong that my siblings and cousins all did. Instead, I grew up hearing all about their wonderful adventures with Mama and Papa. The Papa I remember was a small, quiet, ailing man with smiling eyes who was more of a fixture in my life than the involved, doting grandfather that he was to the others.
Despite that, Papa still made quite an impact on my life, albeit indirectly.

Books are my passion and Papa must’ve loved books too because he had a library in each of his houses. These were proper libraries with books neatly cataloged and bearing call numbers on their spines.
One day, I don’t know how old I was; my Ate Chickee brought me to Papa’s office in the Shaw Blvd. house. I must’ve been very young because I remember looking up and seeing rows upon rows of books. I must’ve asked her about it because Ate took one down, showed me the call number, and told me about how Papa had had a librarian catalog and label all his books for him. I knew right then that I wanted my own personal library – just like Papa! When we got home Ate indulged me and painted little white squares on the spines of all my picture books with Liquid Paper and when they dried she carefully inked in call numbers. My library has been growing steadily ever since and though I’ve long given up on putting call numbers on all of them; I’d like to think that my large collection is just as organized as Papa’s was.

One of my clearest memories of Papa is of him quoting from his favorite poem, The Rhodora by Ralph Waldo Emerson.
During Sunday lunches, while everyone was chattering around his extremely large dining table, Papa would raise his hand and quote “If the sages ask thee why this charm is wasted on the earth and sky, tell them, dear: if eyes were made for seeing, then beauty is its own excuse for being.” I was too young to fully understand what the poem meant but I enjoyed hearing the rhythm and sway of the familiar words and enjoyed watching his hand gently punctuate the air as he recited.
Many years later, in one of the many literature classes I took for my Humanities and Literature degree, we were asked to submit an original poem. Without conscious effort, the poem that came to me (as creative fiction is wont to do) was about Papa. My only copy has long since been lost but I remember that it was a set of haikus aptly entitled “Labuyo” because that’s what papa was: a little pepper. He was small in stature but had an incredibly fiery and passionate personality whose warmth still radiates, long after he’s gone.

And, yes, I did get an A on that assignment.

A picture book with the call number Ate made for me and a book I inherited from Papa’s library.

I know, I know: I haven’t posted in eons but I promise to get to it soon
In the meantime, I wanted to share some photos of my library - yes, MY library.
I have always dreamed of having my very own library at home and now my dream is coming true (thanks to my mom who is having our house renovated).

Here are a couple of photos of the “main/reading area”. This photo was taken last week; today it has some shelves, a display cabinet (for my action figures), a table and some chairs.

The books are all in an adjacent room, through that glass door to the right of the stairs. The idea is that you can select your book, then take it to the main area to read.

I still haven’t found a nice name for my library so suggestions are most welcome

More photos to come so stay tuned and send in those suggestions!

I’m going to miss:

Online shopping (especially Amazon.com)
baby brussels sprouts, sweet peas, baby carrots, sweet red beets
easy store returns (no questions asked)
Sci-Fi channel (Doctor Who, Eureka, Chuck, Ghost Hunters)
Ben & Jerry’s Dublin Mudslide
Sephora
the Peninsula Library System
Fresh Choice
mail on Saturdays
awesome book selections
cranberry juice
clean air

Granny in her fuzzy blue cape
Have a care as you de-train
The fog rolls in, the day grows dim
Your red bow is soggy in the rain

Sleep, Painted Lady
Show your blue eyelids to the world
Your orange face and pewter lip
Distracts from the blood under your fingernails-
A horrid French-tip!

Japanese girl, why do you cry?
Such tears- your heart is breaking
I should not stare though I am a curious Bear
I look and see
Your soul is weeping

Pink cupcake boots
Waiting on the platform
Tapping a quick rhythm into a puddle
Dry umbrella in hand, wet rain across my face
Watching them, watching me
From under the shelter they huddle.

March 15, 2008

What do you do after watching 12 straight hours of Jane Austen movies? You blog about it of course! The couch now has a permanent indentation of my butt and the DVD player is totally exhausted but I did it. Woo-hoo! I watched Northanger Abbey, Persuasion, Mansfield Park, Emma, Sense & Sensibility, and Pride & Prejudice (i.e. all of Jane Austen’s major novels) back to back from 10am to 10pm with only a handful of quick breaks to run to the bathroom and heat up stuff in the microwave.The first 3 are adaptations that I’d never seen before (borrowed from the public library), and the latter 3 are favorites from my personal DVD collection.

I started the marathon off with Northanger Abbey (2007) and it was a good choice, if I do say so for myself. I’d never read the novel as it’s one of the less popular ones so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I knew that it was a satire on Gothic romances and so isn’t like her other novels; I really thought I wouldn’t like it at all. Surprisingly, I really enjoyed it. I was completely charmed by the characters and liked the quasi-Gothic feel of the story. Its quite a departure from Austen’s other novels. I thought that the actors were well cast: they were all the correct age (unlike many early Austen adaptations) and, most importantly, I didn’t feel like any of them were contrived in the Regency period. I enjoyed it so much that I decided to buy myself a copy to add to my DVD collection.

  Up until today, Mansfield Park had been my least favorite Austen movie; that "honor" has now been bestowed upon Persuasion. In all fairness, I’d also never read the novel, nor have I seen the 1995 version so I don’t know if I just dislike the characters and plot in general of if this is just a horrid adaptation. I sincerely hope that this is just a terrible adaptation because I do love Jane Austen’s works and I would be totally disappointed in her if she actually did write such bland, pathetic characters. Anne Elliot is such a shame compared to Lizzie Bennett, Emma Woodhouse, and Marianne Dashwood. All those women are strong, independent, and very modern for their time; Anne is a weak little spine-less squid. The plot has potential but the characters were just so one dimensional and absolutely unappealing. I honestly didn’t see anything in Capt. Wentworth worth falling in love with; he had absolutely no character at all. Thankfully I’m not the only one that feels this way: the reviews on Amazon are far from good and it only got 3 out of 5 stars. The 1995 version, on the other hand, got 4 and a half stars so I’m thinking of checking that one out. Hopefully it will redeem Persuasion even just a little bit.

As I mentioned earlier, Mansfield Park was my least favorite of the 4 Austen movie adaptations I’d seen. In spite of the fact that the 1999 version has the best looking hero (played by Jonny Lee Miller), I found it a bit dragging and thought that the heroine, Fanny Price, lacked gumption. I really, really wanted to like this version and hoped that Billie Piper would add a little "Rose Tyler" spice to boring ol’ reliable Fanny. Well, as it happens when you put too much hope and expectation on something, it totally disappointed. For starters, while the 1999 version has the best looking Austen Hero, this 2007 version has, by far, the most unattractive leading man ever! Seriously. How are we (the audience) supposed to cheer the heroine on and live vicariously through her if the guy she ends up with is downright homely? You’re supposed to want her to end up with Edmund, not sigh and say to yourself "well, he’s better than that other guy".

Secondly, it seems that, out of all the main characters, Fanny is the least developed which is odd considering Mansfield Park is supposed to be all about her. Mary Crawford is way more multi-faceted as a character which sort of makes you connect to her more than to Fanny. This version also only got 3 out of 5 stars on Amazon and I’d say that’s quite generous. Frankly, I’d give it no more than 2 stars simply for casting an unappealing Edmund.

On the bright side, this version made the 1999 version seem a whole lot better and I appreciate it more so it wasn’t a total waste of time.

Because the last 2 movies I saw were so bland and disappointing, I decided that the next movie should be light and funny and Emma is exactly that!

I love this movie. I’m not particularly a Gwyneth Paltrow fan, if anything, I’m quite a bit attached to Kate Beckinsale simply because she played Hero in one of my other all-time favorite movies, Much Ado About Nothing, but I have to admit that I enjoy Gwyneth’s portrayal of Emma so much more. I know that I’ve seen the Kate Beckinsale version but I can’t remember much of it and therein lies the problem. Its not so much an inferior adaptation as it is, well, less memorable, in fact, any serious "Janeite" will tell you that the Kate Beckinsale one is more loyal to the novel than the Gwyneth one. I think my problem with the Kate B. version is that its a lot more serious: the colors are more muted, the actors are more straight-forward and no-nonsense, and the sets/ locations tended to be a bit darker and grittier (which is probably more realistic). In contrast, this version has a lighter, airy feel to it: the colors were lighter, the sets were brighter, the pictures crisper, and the characters were definitely more light-hearted and funny. In other words, one is a straight-up drama while the other is comfortably classified as a romantic-comedy. Sure that probably makes it the more inaccurate of the two adaptations but that definitely makes it a lot more enjoyable to watch.The Kate B. version, though closer to the novel, is, unfortunately, quite forgettable while the Gwyneth P. version is something you’ll want to watch over and over again - I definitely do, hence my very scratched, over-played copy. My DVD collection would not be complete without this version of Emma in it.

Ah. Sense and Sensibility, the one that started it all. This is the movie that catapulted Jane Austen movies into the mainstream, triggered the production of other big-budget, big-name, mainstream Austen adaptations (like the afore mentioned 1996 Emma), and introduced me to the wonderful world of Jane Austen. It is because of this movie that I am the Austen fan that I am now.

This movie is just chock-full of BIG names, all of whom, thankfully, are wonderful actors and just perfect for their roles. The casting is definitely where the magic of this movie is. See, whenever people hear the name "Alan Rickman" nowadays, they automatically think of Professor Snape so they think I’m possitively bonkers when I say that he’s way hot! But he is. I’m telling you, people, Alan Rickman is most definitely leading man quality. He’s absolutely perfect as Col. Brandon! Okay. I guess its best to admit that I haven’t seen the other adaptations yet (its not my fault that the 2007 adaptation won’t be out on DVD until this coming April) and so don’t have much comparisson but trust me when I say that his interpretation of Col. Brandon is just spot on. He was aloof, vulnerable, haughty, passionate, controlled, tender - all at the same time! He is as multi-faceted as the characters in Persuasion are one-dimensional. Plus, he can make an oldish guy sexy - something I originally thought only Harrison Ford could do, and that’s quite a feat. Have you seen Alan Rickman in the music video of In Demand? Wooo, hot! I digress. Back to the movie.

Another great member of the cast is Hugh Laurie as Mr. Palmer. His role is extremely small but so funny! Imagine Dr. House in a Regency setting - that’s exactly Mr. Palmer. Sure, it may be type-casting him but this minor character adds just the right amount of humor to the latter half of the movie. Imelda Staunton (Prof. Umbridge in Harry Potter) plays Mrs. Palmer and she and Hugh Laurie complement each other so well.

Then of course there’s Emma Thompson, Kate Winslet, and Hugh Grant: though I really need not mention them, do I?

Okay, It must be said that this version of Pride and Prejudice is my absolute favorite movie to date. Really. And just like my other favorites, it’s all down to great casting. I’m not a big Keira Knightly fan, in fact, the way she wrinkles her nose and squishes her face up is really quite annoying. BUT, in spite of that,I have to hand it to her; her Lizzie Bennett is just spot on. Matthew McFadden is just the perfect Mr. Darcy; he’s too good. I was completely in love with him three quarters through the movie and practically swooned at the end. In contrast, I completely hated the 1996 version starring Colin Firth and Jennifer Ehle, both of whom were absolutely horrible! Matthew McFadden’s Mr. Darcy is aloof, arrogant, and condescending but is also so mysterious and has a slight hint of uncertainty under his arrogance that you can’t help but be undeniably attracted to him. Colin Firth’s Mr. Darcy is also aloof and arrogant but in an obnoxious and utterly unappealing way that you can’t possibly understand why anyone would fall in love with him. But as bad as Colin Firth is as Mr. Darcy, Jennifer Ehle is even worse as Lizzie. Oh my goodness. She’s constantly making faces and seems to be even more haughty than Mr. Darcy. Her weird facial expressions totally bugged the daylights out of me; she was so obnoxious that I barely lasted an hour. I just had to stop the DVD; I was giving myself a headache from rolling my eyes at her so much. There really was no reason for me to continue watching it, I mean, usually, even if the heroine is annoying, the hero is attractive enough that you’ll continue watching it for him, or vice versa: if the hero is annoying (or unappealing as in the case of Mansfield Park), you’ll still finish the movie because the heroine is compelling. In this case, both the hero and heroine were obnoxious so watching the remaining 4 hours seemed like an absolute waste of time.

Needless to say, the 2005 version is a gazillion times better. The chemistry between Keira and Matthew is sizzling, they both interpret their characters perfectly, and the adaptation from the book to the script was done really well.

I can’t say how much I love, love, LOVE this movie. I have 2 DVD copies (full-screen and wide-screen), I have it saved onto my laptop (for watching during lay-overs), and on my iPod video as well (for watching whenever and wherever). I must’ve seen it a good 2 dozen times and I could most definitely watch it loads more.

If you’ve never seen a Jane Austen movie or if - for some bizarre reason - you can only see one, the 2005 Pride and Prejudice is the one for you to see. Believe me, you’ll be hooked! Its just loverly

Exactly how much do I love Duran Duran? Let me break it up for you.

There are Duran Duran fans, and there are Duran Duran fans. I am of the latter breed.

I’ve loved Duran Duran for as long as I can remember. My elder sisters would tell me stories about how, when I was a baby, they would pop in a BetaMax tape of Duran Duran videos and I would sit in my car-seat, silent and absolutely mesmerized until the tape ended when I would proceed to bawl my eyes out until they rewound the tape and played it again. I must’ve been less than a year old when they started doing that and I’m pretty much the same until now. Once I play one of my Duran Duran DVDs, don’t waste your breath or your saliva trying to talk to me.

The first and, as of the moment, only time they performed in Manila I was 6 years old. I wanted nothing more in the whole wide world than to go. I got a green plastic mug, covered the top with cardboard, cut a hole in it, and wrote "Help send Kristine to see Duran Duran" on it. I scrimped and saved and put every coin I found into that cup and on Sundays, when we would all go too my Grandmother’s house, I’d walk around with my mug, like a little street beggar, asking my cousins, aunts, uncles, and grand parents to contribute to my concert fund. I don’t remember if I was able to come up with the money all by myself or if one of my parents paid the balance but on February 14th, 1989, I dressed up in my "coolest" outfit and my 2 sisters took me to see Duran Duran. I remember it pretty clearly considering I was just 6. I remember that the security wasn’t sure whether I should be admitted into the venue or not since I was so young but I put on the most pittiful face I could manage and threatened to cry so they let me in. I remember balancing on the narrow back-rest of the seat while holding on to the shoulders of my sisters for balance. I remember that John was wearing an open vest with no shirt underneath and that he was extremely skinny so I asked my sisters if I could throw my Marie Biscuits on stage for him, not realizing that we were a good 30++ rows from the stage. It was definitely the highlight of the first 10 years of my life.

Exactly 20 years later on April 10, 2008, Duran Duran will be performing at the Araneta Coliseum in Manila again. Within a few minutes of finding out, I decided to fly home just for the concert. Now that I’m a money-earner, I pulled out all the stops. No more little green mugs for me, thanks. I pestered my sister incessantly, texting and e-mailing into the wee hours of the night until she was able to get us "spit’s distance seats"; I want to be close enough to see the food stuck in between their teeth if they forget to brush. Yeah, that close! I paid about $220 for the concert tickets and another $1,050 for air fare.

But the story doens’t end there.

About a week after I purchased the non-refundable plane tickets to Manila, I find out that Duran Duran will be performing a mere BART ride away at Concord on May 2.

Yes, any sane person would be incredibly pissed off at the thought of having spent a good $1,270 to fly half-way around the world for a concert she could have watched practically in her own back yard.

Not this Duranie. The very first thought that popped into my mind when I read the announcement that Duran Duran confirmed a concert at Concord was: "Sweet! I get to watch them twice in 2 different continents in less than a month’s time. How lucky am I???" Then I proceeded to whoop and dance around the living room. All my siblings and friends were totally confused; they expected me to punch my pillow, scream, or at the very least whine a little bit, not walk around for the next 2 days with a goofy grin on my face.

The tickets went on sale today and I spent another $216 on seats. They aren’t as close to the stage as the Araneta ones, but close enough to satisfy me. I am SO psyched, I can’t even begin to put my excitement into words.

Duran Duran, how do I love thee?

Let me count the ways:

$1,050 - round trip air fare to fly to Manila

$220 - spit’s distance seats at the Manila concert

$216 - seats at the Concord concert

$150 - for Duran Duran t-shirts ordered all the way from London to wear at the concerts.

So, does anyone still doubt my undying love for Simon, John, Nick, Roger (and yeah, Andy too)?

The Lifehouse concert at The Warfield was just amazing. I was a bit disappointed that they didn’t perform "Sick Cycle Carousel" but they did do "Hanging Like A Moment" and some of their other older songs from their first album, which is my favorite.
Its been quite a while since I’ve been to an honest to goodness rock concert (I don’t think Dave Matthews Band at the Shoreline counts) and I’d forgotten how much fun they are. I love the energy, the nearly deafening music that feels like its coming from inside your head, and the thrill of seeing a musician you really like perform live. It was a little weird that people were sitting down; all the other rock concerts I’ve been to had people standing up and dancing, so that kind of threw me off a bit but other than that, it was awesome!

Opening acts are usually either not very good or trying too hard or, in the case of HoneyHoney, the first band to perform, both, but the second opening act was a pleasant surprise. When the band started playing Norina and I barely paid attention to them but then we noticed that not only were the songs slightly familiar, nearly the whole crowd was singing along. We started listening and realized that they are in fact really really good. In those few minutes, I became a fan. After the show we went to buy their CD, realized that its a solo artist and not a band, and even got to meet him. He’s a singer-songwriter named Matt Nathanson and he’s from San Francisco. I listened to the CD all day the next day and liked it so much that I actually bought his other albums over the weekend.
So the Lifehouse concert turned out a lot better than I expected. Not only was it a great show, I also discovered an awesome artist whose music I really really like and I got to meet him too.
Totally awesome!!!

I turned 26 yesterday.
I prefer not to call it a “birthday” because birthdays, to me, sound festive. When you hear “birthday” you immediately think of balloons, cake, parties, and all the hullabaloo. My 26th was anything but; it was pretty much a regular old Sunday and I did the same things I’ve been doing nearly every Sunday of the past 2 years. I went to mass, I went to the grocery, I washed the dishes, I did the laundry, I watched a Harry Potter marathon on tv … Nothing special. Only a handful of my family members greeted me and even my brother, whom I live with, completely forgot. But you know what? I didn’t mind it at all; in fact, I was hoping he wouldn’t remember so that he wouldn’t make a big fuss. Two years ago I had a pretty decent birthday. I had balloons in my cubicle when I got to work, we had cake in the afternoon, for dinner, my Dad took us out to a Sushi bar, and I even scored a couple of presents and even at that, I was disappointed. (Last Year’s Blog) I had an awesome birthday the year before and that one really fell short. I fully expected to feel the same way this year because of last year’s amazing New York trip but surprisingly, I didn’t. I honestly didn’t care that yesterday was just like any other day.
I wonder though, if this indifference is due to the fact that I’m officially in my "late twenties" (i.e. old), and therefore no longer care about the fuss made over the day of birth or simply because i have so much exciting things to look forward to in the future that it hardly matters that this day is mundane. I’m inclined to think its the latter. I’m going to a Lifehouse concert on Wednesday, I’m flying to Manila in April just for the Duran Duran concert (have I mentioned how much I love, love, love them?), I’m spending 10 days in Singapore and Bangkok with Lia and Tatin, and in September I’ll be going to Russia and Scandinavia. Even though I’ve never been to Russia and I’ve already been to Copenhagen and Malmӧ, I’m still so, so, so excited to go back to Scandinavia. So, will all those exciting things to look forward to, who cares if March 2nd was a bore?